Catch me
by Lady saevam iram
Summary: A woman is running toward the end. Who is she, and what's her story? SSOC, slight HGDM. Rating will go up. My first fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic, so don't judge me too hard. I appreciate criticism, but not "this sucks" or something like that, I'd rather like to know WHAT I'm doing that could be improved etc etc. Anyway, please read and review and hopefully I won't screw up…**

**Disclaimer: As I hope everyone understand, I'm not J.K, I'm just a Swedish girl making pathetic attempts in having a life and simply having a little fun, though Meridgena is my own character (yay!).**

Prologue

I'm running. I'm aware that the rain is pouring down, floating down my face, penetrating my clothes, sending shiver over my skin, but I don't really care. Branches are hitting me in the face, mixing tears and rain with small drops of blood, almost sliding in strings down my face. My feet are aching, every time my feet touch the ground they send sharp thrusts through my entire body, making me feel like I'm going to fall, but I'm not, I just keep running.

A million thoughts fly through my head; "How did I come to this? When did all happen? What can I actually do? Whose fault is it?" along with just as many memories. But none of these seam to stay in my mind, they just flashes past my eyes, leaving my focus on my goal, but still confuses me.

A small sob exits my mouth, enough to make me stumble, but I don't fall, just keeps on running. I don't want to cry, I won't cry. Even though many people have told me that I above anyone deserve to cry I've never agreed, crying is not something any one "deserves", it's just a way of letting ones feelings out, a way that only can make me weaker right now, but yet I can't stop. I never could. Endless nights have been spilled into tears, but now I don't have the time or the strength to let myself cry.

My mind scatters for a moment because of one thought of self-loathing; "If I had acted differently, would this have happened? Would I be running like a crying maniac through a dark, rainy forest in the middle of the night if I had done things differently?". I always tried to deny my importance, always, though I always seemed to get evidence in the other direction I stood firmly that I was just I the crowd, a bystander who just seemed to be dragged into these events, it wasn't me, it was just ridiculous and not so ridiculous coincidences. It was only in my worst moments that I believed that there was some higher power that could be described as "fate ", and I guess this was one of these moments, and the sensation of something bigger made me slow my paste and than stop, out of breath.

If everything happened for a reason, did it matter? Could I just stop and walk back without a change in the outturn of… everything. I had already been through too much pain, too much suffering, lost too many people I cared about. My face slowly turned upwards. I opened my mouth and let raindrops fall into my mouth and down my throat, mitigating my thirst. My eyes closed and slowly opened, turned towards the dark, dark grey sky.

Even if that was the case, presence didn't alter a single thing, I would be there. I would be there in the cherish victory or in the bitter end. I would fight to the end, even if I couldn't change anything. If there was a higher being, I would spit in its face, because I've always did what I wanted to, or at least tried to. I wouldn't bend in front of any power, even if I was weak, and I would TRY to make a difference.

My eyes turned forward again, and I started moving again, hoping I wasn't too late…

**So…that was the prologue, not as good as I had hoped it would be, and a bit short, but I can at least start on the real story now (which won't be written in someone's POV).**

**Anyway, please review and I'll be back soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone, I'm back with an all new chapter, hopefully this one won't be as short as the last one, but can't give you any promises. Just so all readers know and don't get confused the story begins about ten months before the prologue. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters except Meridgena, but that doesn't stop me from messing with them…**

Chapter 1: Homecoming

Meridgena hated flying. To her it was connected to a bunch of bad memories, and even though things seemed all right at the moment, she was sure things would turn out otherwise.

Above her strong feeling of worry lay a thick, disturbing layer of tiredness. She had been sitting at the same spot for about ten hours now, not being able to sleep as the plane crossed the Atlantic Ocean, and in the seat nearer the aisle an asleep, loudly snoring American prevented her from leaving the seat.

She was restless, her hands rapidly patting her thighs as she leaned back, trying to rest. But soon she gave up and opened her clear blue eyes; the aircraft would be landing in less than an hour, so she wouldn't get any real rest even if she managed to fall asleep now.

Instead she brought her hand to her handbag, taking out the letter for the umpteenth time, viewing the familiar handwriting on the front with a smile. She had received it from Dumbledore a little more than half a year ago, but it wasn't until now that she had managed to fulfill the request.

But now Meridgena was on the plane, had sold her old apartment, quit her job and made sure that everything would work out when she got back. She hadn't answered the letter, but she knew that Dumbledore was aware that she hated writing letters, so the one that she had received had contained all the information she needed, and she knew that he would be expecting her.

The letter had worked as a security blanket for her during the last months, an insurance that things would solve even though how bad things turned out, and in the same time a reminder of old friends, that things wasn't all bad before.

But the letter also became the only object she could bring her fear and hate into. She had heard rumors about the events that had happened a while ago, but this letter had confirmed them, bringing back all old fears she thought she had gotten rid of. He was back, but this time things wouldn't go as the last time.

She closed her eyes again, slowly inhaling the cold dry air of the plane. She hadn't been surprised by the news; she had suspected it after the nightmares came back. But thinking and knowing was far from the same thing. She could only hope that fear wouldn't get the best pieces of her.

The sky was dull and grey, but it wasn't raining, which Meridgena appreciated. It was bad enough trying to get to a taxi with her enormous suitcase and the unnecessary bag with sweets from the tax free, without getting soaked.

As she came close, a driver released her from the suitcase; putting it in the back as Meridgena sighing sank down in one of the seats. As the car started moving she mumbled the address to the driver and then stared out into the dull afternoon.

As the cab slowly reached the more populated parts of London Meridgena stared to feel a cozy feeling in her stomach; familiarity. She straightened up and let her eyes sweep over the streets, trying to remember what she had done when she was there last time.

Even though London probably just was one of many big cities over the world, it was so different from San Diego, where she had lived for approximately twenty long, but quite nice years. And the weather only seemed to help bringing out the feeling that this was where she had grown up, yet not any senses of being at home at all.

Just before the cab drove into her street, the sky opened and rain started to pour down. Meridgena sighed out a tired curse before she paid the driver and got ready to step out. She pulled up her dark hood to the sweater she wore under her long coat as the driver struggled to get her heavy suitcase out.

As the cab drove of Meridgena grabbed her belongings and at least tried to run toward the gate, which of course was almost too small to get the suitcase through. But she managed to get in and dropped all her things with a sigh on the floor as she finally stood in the entrance. An almost childish smile came to her face when she saw that there was an elevator.

The elevator was, of course also a bit to small, but she squeezed all her things inside and sat down at the suitcase as she pressed the button for the fifth floor. It was an old elevator, but she didn't mind the extremely slow travel upwards, and the creaking sounds actually seemed soothing in some weird way.

When it stopped she once again had to struggle with her belongings to get out. In front of the door she started to dig through her purse, looking for her keys, but soon ran out of patience and emptied the entire contents on one of the stairs.

Finally the managed to open the door, get her stuff in, and close the door behind her with a deep sigh. At last she was there. She kicked of her shoes and hung her coat at the hanger, but left the hoodie on. The hallway was painted in green color, which satisfied her, Dumbledore had probably remembered that was her favorite.

"A bath would be nice," she said to herself, getting ready to step into the bathroom without even examine the rest of her new home. The noise from the kitchen stopped her plans; apparently Dumbledore had decided to come as her own very special welcome committee.

She smiled and walked toward the sound of china and came into a small, but according to her self; very nice kitchen. But the person who met her there surprised her.

"M…M…McGonagall," she managed to get out, suddenly happy that she had left the hood on.

The older woman had risen when Meridgena had entered the room. She had a tired look on her face, but she smiled in a way that seemed relived.

"Hello Miss Atkins, I trust the voyage went without any problems?"

The younger woman frowned and took another step forward, noticing that the professor had made the table with tea and scones.

"Yeah, sure. Where's Dumbledore?" She quickly said, "I thought he was the one making sure that I would arrive, I didn't even know that any one else was aware that I would be returning."

McGonagall drew breath, it looked as she was preparing to say something painful, but Meridgena had already put herself in defense. Before the older managed to speak up again she had started talking again, this time more aggressively.

"How come he isn't here? I thought no one else knew that I was coming."

"Miss Atkins…"

"And even if he did tell someone, he wouldn't let anyone else…"

"Miss Atkins..." McGonagall had raised her voice a bit.

"And even if he would he would have informed me whom in the letter and.."

"Dumbledore's dead Meridgena!"

Silence entered the kitchen. Meridgena looked at the older woman with doubt in her eyes. The silence remained for a few moments before she managed to open her mouth.

"No…no, that can't be true," she said with trembling voice. McGonagall took a step toward her.

"He was killed about two months ago by Severus Snape," her voice seemed to crack a bit, but her gaze was clear and calm.

Meridgena quivered and buried her face in her hands. Everything came crashing down. She wasn't safe, things weren't going to work out, and worst of all; the only person who she was aware of that knew her secret was gone.

Tears started to fall from her eyes and she started to shake even more now. Her knees seemed to give in and she would have fallen to the floor if the older woman hadn't grabbed her by the shoulders. They stayed in that position for a while, until Meridgena had collected herself a bit at least.

She slowly removed her hand from the face, meeting McGonagall's eyes that now also were softly glimmering in grief. But in that moment they changed in surprise. She swiftly stepped away from Meridgena and watched her in shock.

Meridgena knew that there wasn't any meaning to hiding it any more, so she pulled back the hood, letting McGonagall get a good picture of her whole face. The older woman seemed to look even more shocked.

"How did this happen Miss Atkins?" she finally managed to whisper.

**Yay! I finished the first chapter, now I have to study French (anticlimax), but I hope that you will have more than me, and please review, it will give me encouragement to update quicker.**

**See ya…**


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